I am stoked to talk to Colette Philcox today – not only an individual on the spectrum, but the daughter of Brian Philcox and Bonnie Buxton – and the inspiration for Bonnie’s book: Damaged Angels. Colette is a mother of two – one on the spectrum, is an advocate and holds down a job in the film industry.
Colette's story will inspire hope in individuals and caregivers. Adopted at 4, she was on the streets and addicted to crack by her mid-teens. When I asked her what was the factor that changed the trajectory of her life, she said there wasn't any one thing that happened.
It just clicked. Like a puzzle piece that finally found it's place.
Now with experience and maturity at 40, you will be captivated by her candor, honesty and insights on:
We wrap up with her advice for individuals on the Spectrum and their caregivers. And it isn’t telling your child:
You could do better. People, in general will always try their best, this is where expectations and reality clash.
I have watched Colette grow and mature. I’m not suggesting you kick your kids out, but as she became older she saw what she
was doing wasn’t very good yet she never blamed her parents for tough love - which worked for her. Despite it all, they were always in the background supporting her.
For instance, she talks how Bonnie would meet her and take her out for something to eat. She mentioned she would show up at their home to take a shower and wash some clothes. Reminded me of my foster kid: he said he did the same thing at group homes. He would show up clean up and then leave…The streets where a better option than the group home..that’s what’s wrong.
People in the shelter system wanted to help BUT she wanted to do it by herself. And she did. Colette is a great example of what can be accomplished through love, sticking it out and sheer tenacity of will.
Bonnie Buxton Book: