#038 The Berrys: Transforming From Trauma

What an episode we have for you today! If you are like my guests, Kristin and Mike Berry, from Honestly Adoption (formerly Confessions of an Adoptive Parent) and desire to do good and be good parents, and feel like no matter what, you are “doing it wrong” then you will want to tune in as we deep dive into their experience parenting eight adopted children. We also look at trauma and FASD.  

Mike and Kristin are authors, bloggers, speakers, parent coaches, adoptive parents, and former foster parents. They are passionate about reaching adoptive and foster parents around the globe with a message of hope and transformation. They are the creators of both an award-winning blog and podcast (links below). Between them, they have written nine books. They have been married for 21 years and have eight children, all of whom are adopted. They live on a farm in Indiana (USA).  

We are parenting very different kids from who were growing up and so that led us to question how effective we were and caused us to dig deeper. How that trauma has now impacted the way that they behave.”

The Berrys discuss how they internalized their early struggles, including how they “stumbled” into an FASD diagnosis and dealing with doctors who felt they were “bad parents”. They share how they removed shame and disappointment after experiencing an aha moment at a conference. As well:   

• How their journey evolved from fostering to adoption and their thoughts on reunification;
• Thoughts on the difference in engagement to learning about FASD in dads versus moms; and
• Advice on building the foundation of healthy attachments in kids with trauma.

If you are a regular follower of this podcast, you will know I always ask about self-care – but I also asked Mike and Kristin how they have stayed married for 21 years because we know a lot of relationships break up when parenting children with FASD or other high needs.  

Have I ever played something out in my mind that was going to be my role as a mom or I thought XYZ? Whatever your expectation is, is there some disappointment that plays into parenting? Yes. And when you are parenting children who have experienced trauma, particularly the trauma of drug and alcohol exposure, it has actually changed the way our child’s brain works.

There are so many quotable moments and I just know you are going to get immersed in their experiences and knowledge. Let me know what your most profound or aha moment was. Because I’m going to bet you will have at least one. 

 Show Notes:

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