When Understanding FASD Changes How You See Yourself: Mary Byrnes

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Mary Byrnes came looking for answers for Harrison. As she learned more about FASD, she started recognizing parts of her own experience, too.

That is where this conversation gets personal. Mary talks about the years she spent blaming herself, the effort of navigating social situations, and what changed when she could look at those experiences with more compassion.

She returns to The FASD Success Show to talk about her book, Everything Clicks, her family and the work of Harrison’s Hope.

When Understanding Becomes Useful

Having an explanation does not finish the work. Mary describes how understanding herself differently opened up conversations with her husband about money, resentment and support.

A disagreement about a purchase was not only about the purchase. They were bringing different experiences and concerns into the conversation. Understanding those differences gave them something else to work with.

For a caregiver listening, that is a useful place to pause. What keeps becoming an argument in your world? What might become clearer if you got curious about what makes that situation difficult

Support and Adult Choice Belong Together

Mary also talks about needing help in situations other people may find straightforward. Asking for that help does not erase her adulthood, preferences or right to make decisions.

There is room for both support and autonomy. The practical question becomes what support fits this person and this situation.

Knowing About FASD and Listening to Lived Experience

Mary describes Everything Clicks as a way to help readers understand her experience. Knowing what FASD is and understanding what it feels like to live with it are different things.

Her story makes room for caregivers and adults with FASD to hear that perspective together. We also discuss Harrison’s Hope and the importance of support beyond childhood.

Listen to the full conversation using the audio player above.

Explore Everything Clicks and Harrison’s Hope.

Mary also offers a free virtual author Q&A for book clubs that select Everything Clicks. Contact Mary@HarrisonsHope.ca to arrange a session.

If you are looking for other caregivers who understand this world, visit our free FASD caregiver Facebook group.